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“I’m possessed, do you have any coffee?”

“I’m possessed, do you have any coffee?”


“Hi I’m Jilaiya DRAINER OF SOULS….” Jil coughed and cleared her throat, “sorry” she blushed as she received understanding nods from the circle of strangers before her. “Anyway, as I was saying, my name is Jil and I’m possessed.”

The group respond in an obviously rehearsed “Hi Jil!” and she even saw a few people give a little wave.

She took a deep breath and continued, “So, um, yeah. I was possessed when I was about seven when I got up the courage to try and kill the monster living in my closet.” I paused a series of mildly impressed gasps came from the people around me. “Yeah, my parents and siblings thought I was just making things up of course, but I knew the truth, I’d seen those eyes and teeth every night for years. Finally, I snuck in my older brother’s baseball bat into my room and I was ready for that bastard.”

“YOU CHEATED YOU…” her voice cracked.

“Sorry” she shrugged, “as I was saying that night when the thing in my closet predictably came to terrorize me and threaten to eat me I looked it right in those big lime sized eyes and said ‘Try it chuckles!’ and smacked it right between the eyes.”

More gasps of surprise came though much less mild this time.

A lady with small red horns cleared her throat and asked, “I’m sorry but how did you end up being possessed?”

“Alexandra! You know better than to ask a new guest something like that?” shot a skinny albino man with a sweater vest and a clipboard. “Please continue Jil” the man said reassuringly.

Jil smiled shyly in thanks, “Well I guess after that the creature went from being a shadowy mass of eyes and teeth to a full fledged seven-foot-tall demon drooling acid on my carpet. I was terrified and it glared at me and my bat and growled ‘Wrong move munchkin, now I have to eat you!’. I probably should have started crying and died right there, but I couldn’t help thinking, this scaly asshole made everyone think I’m crazy and how pissed off that made me. So finally, I glared right back at his stupid face…”

“HEY!” growled her demonic voice again.

“Anyway I glared at it and said ‘Not if I eat you first and I bit it’, it was so stupid but I couldn’t think of anything better to do in the moment and to my surprise it was like biting into a cotton candy balloon, as soon as I did I fell back to see the shocked look on the things face as it returned to the ball of gas I was used to and was sucked into my lungs with the piece I had bitten off.” The room was dead silent as everyone stared at me in amazement.

“WAIT?” growled a smoldering man next to Alexandra, “YOU’RE SAYING IT WAS YOU WHO ACTUALLY POSSESSED THE CREATURE?”

My blank confused stare seemed to say more than my words could as whispers broke out in the little group. The albino man simply smiled, “Have a seat Jil, everyone is just understandably taken aback since we don’t hear of many possessions like this. What you did was to actually enslave the monster in your closet in your own body. No small feat for a child but technically it is the one possessed by you as it has only limited vocal control to communicate with you. However, you should have limited if not full control over the being’s powers inside you.”

Jil sighed as she took a seat, “Well that’s a relief, but could you explain that to the human resources manager at my work. She’s the one who sent me here after that voice called her stuck-up bitch after she lectured me about my performance review.”

The albino smiled and his eyes glowed red slightly, “We’ll see how the rest of your sessions play out and go from there to be fair okay? Anything else?”

Jill shrugged, “Yeah, where’s the coffee?”

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