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Self Improvement

Self Improvement


A knock came thrice at the door, and a large awkward monster jumped excitedly to its feet and hobbled to the door. Once there it cleared it’s throat and in a musical tone said “Who is it?”

“Ummm is this 742 Evergreen terrace?” asked a woman’s voice from the alley beyond the door.

The monster bit it’s lip and hopped from foot to foot a couple times before saying, “Yes it is may I as who it is?”

“Um it’s FedEx, I have a Package for a one Jo Smith?” responded the voice in the alley.

“One moment,” the monster sang as it pulled a lever on the wall next to the door. A hatch in the alley opened with the word ‘Mail’ written in disturbing red paint. “Please put the package and any paperwork to be signed in the slot”

With a clunk the package fell into slot and the monster shoved the lever in the opposite direction causing everything to plop inside without having to open the door. It quickly picked up the box and drew a bloody ex on the sign sheet before the clipboard back to the alley through the slot.

“Thank you” the Fed-ex courier yelled followed by hurried footsteps,

“Oh no,” said the monster tearing the lid off the box, “Thank you!”

Inside was a bio-mechanical foot with a rose and a note that read, “As always it is an honour to be of service, let me know if you have anything else you need required, sincerely Mr. Renaud.”

With a bone shattering crack the monster ripped the wooden foot from it’s left leg and immediately began attaching the artificial limb in its place. Admiring it’s handy work the monster muttered, “Always best to make the most of one’s self” before hopping off and dancing around on the foot that had been custom made for it.

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