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The A-choco-lypse Cupcake

The A-choco-lypse Cupcake

“Why did you just scream like that?” her co-worker asked.

She spun her screen around to show him the website she was looking at. “See! See!” she squealed, “My unicorn is on its way! And the plutonium is only three days behind.”

Her co-worker laughed thinking it was a practical joke but leaned down to read the page, it was a black market version of amazon. Sure enough, on the screen displayed and “Out for delivery” status on a one year old female unicorn being shipped from Scotland. Just below that was the pending delivery of over five kilograms of refined plutonium, listed for use as a catalyst.

“Good one Lisa,” he laughed, “I almost thought that was legit.” he turned and walked quickly away before she could correct him.

Lisa frowned and turned the screen back to face her. “Idiot, he wouldn’t know titanium from uranium.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a small book out with multiple dog-eared pages and sticky notes. She turned to the page of ingredients for the most terrible dish ever conceived. The title was barely visible behind a pile of words like beware, do not make, warning, run away, don’t even think about it, etc.

“The A-choco-lypse Cupcake” Lisa read with a smile, “I have the unicorn milk, the plutonium for the oven, the platypus eggs, the dead sea sugar, the prismic baking soda, and the flour made with ground meteorites. All I’m missing is the cocoa powder from the trees that grow next to the river Styx. Let’s see…” she scrolled through a few more pages on her site. “Here we go, wait, the Hades Pickers wants seven dollars for shipping, what a rip!”

She sighed, “Maybe I can find a coupon online, or a suitable substitute from Hel, those Vikings never charge extra shipping, bless their immortal souls.” 

A week later the staff at the Oracle’s Loan Services were all hospitalized after growing extra arms or being turned into various animals or sentient furniture after eating mysterious cupcakes left by an employee who happened to be on vacation that day. No one knows who delivered them.

Writing prompts

Use the first line
“Why did you just scream like that?”

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