“Crap.” muttered the glowing girl, looking around at the alley she had just woken up in. “This is bad.” she looked at the tall buildings and breathed in the foul odour of exhaust, sweat, and artificial scents. She pulled herself to her feet, “Seriously? It was one prank, I don’t feel this is justified!” she screeched at the sky which was a dull and indifferent grey as it glared back at her in a condescending tone.
She sighed, “Who cares if I scared them, they’re just humans.” The sky seemed to darken slightly in response. “Fine! But how long do I have to stay here?” the sky shifted slight as a ray of sunshine broke through. She scowled at the sky, “Very cute!” she spat in response, “I’ll be off this rock in no time, just you wait and…”
She was cut off by a woman screaming at the end of the alley, “AHHHHH, PERVERT ANGEL!”
‘Great’ she thought, ‘just what I needed, christians’. It’s not that she had anything against christians per say, they just always overreacted at the drop of a hat about the smallest things. Of course, being a pack animal, it didn’t remain just one psychotic ape screaming at her, soon the end of the alley was packed with monkeys in various cloth coverings all staring; partially at her naked butt, but mostly they looked at her large grey wings that protruded from her back.
They murmured various comments between each other and she could practically feel the grime coming off them. Her violet eyes glared at them, making sure to portray just enough of a predator to keep their tiny monkey brains just unsure enough not to step into the alley way. She knew it wouldn’t work forever and finally an overweight pale police officer barged through the crowd, “What’s the problem… Holy crap!” he said as he saw her. Then, after a few moments of ogling he remembered his job and began spouting some nonsense about indecent exposure and other human garbage she didn’t understand. He uncliped a pair of hand cuffs from his belt and explained, “Not sure if you understand me but I’m just going to put these on you and take you to a place where people can help you.”
Before he could however a voice came from the other end of the alley as footsteps approached, “Sorry I’m late Freyda, I got held up by traffic I hope you’re ready for the shoot…” he trailed off glancing up from the equipement around his neck for the first time. “Who are all you lot?” he asked suspiciously behind the mask of dark makeup he wore.
“Do you know this lady sir?” asked the officer, gesturing at her with the handcuffs.
“I certainly do!” the man said disdainfully, “I’m a bit surprised you don’t, especially given the paperwork we had to fill out to take this shoot.”
“Paperwork?” The officer said incredulously.
“Ugh!” sighed the man, and handed over a thick pack of paper with a business card attached. “Yes, paperwork, photoshoot, you barricade, as per section of 17a subsection C9 in the agreement the city wrote up. Where is the barricade by the way?”
“I, umm, well, I didn’t know about any of this…” stammered the cop.
“Well if you could clear these people out so I can be out of this dank alley as soon as possible that would be lovely, okay?” the strange dark haired man condescended.
“Er, umm….” the officer said as he quickly read the section about barricading the alley and that the police had indeed been assigned to help with that. “I’ll get right on that, sorry, one sec.” He turned and muttered into his radio which came back with a blaze of angry comments about checking your assignments before heading out and not relying on routine. “Yesss, ssir , right away, sorry, won’t happen again” the officer stammered and began shouting at the crowd to clear them away.
The dark haired man turned to face her now and handed her a card, ‘It read Devlin Sata, Heaven and Hell Photography’
“Right, I’m here to keep an eye on you let’s get started. But first!” he hoisted his camera and took several pictures, focusing mostly on her face and from different angles.
Than a printer on his belt spat out a plastic card, which he shook and handed to her. His eyes flashing a dark red colour as he grinned “Welcome to Earth miss Angel, I’m your case worker Devlin.”
With that sentence alone all the delusions she had been hoping for were washed away with the cold truth of reality. “Earth” she sighed, “why did it have to be Earth.”
The English word antidisestablishmentarianism(
listen)) is notable for its unusual length of 28 letters and 12 syllables, and is one of the longest words in the English language. It has been cited as the longest word in the English language (excluding coined and technical terms). The longest word found in a major dictionary is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but this is a technical term that was coined specifically to be the longest word.
So I’m trying to write a weekly update on how things are progressing. I have written a few new stories that will be coming out shortly over the next month.
I wish I had more time to devote to my craft, however work, life, and what has become almost daily panic attacks of varying degrees is beginning to take it’s toll.
Luckily, I have maintained a healthy diet (of which popcorn has become a staple) and have begun exercising daily again to help cope. All things considered I haven’t lost too the anxiety yet, just barely some days, but a win is a win lol.
I woke up with a splitting headache, my mouth tasted like copper, and the only light was a warm glow from the outside. I groaned lifting myself up and feeling my ears pop removing the pressure induced whooshing noise I heard. Unfortunately, that wishing became the laboured whine of a large engine struggling. My visions was still a little blurry from the sleep and I tried to remember where I was. It finally cleared just in time to duck as a large burly man being thrown in my direction. He smashed into a large wooden crate that I had been leaning against. “What the…?” I exclaimed still getting my bearings. I really wished I was still unconscious, as I looked around I took in the spectacle before me. A four and a half foot tall woman in some nondescript-military style uniform was dodging knife jabs from someone dressed as pilot, almost twice her size, in the long tubular innards of a plane flying over the ocean. I use the term flying generously as the whole thing bounced and bobbed in the air. I glanced out the window thinking, ‘Well this couldn’t be any worse’ before I remembered why you should never think that. The glowing from outside was in fact the plane’s engine which was engulfed in flames.
I glanced back to see the petite woman snap the man’s arm like a belligerent tree branch sending an excruciate cry from the now unarmed pilot. I stumbled to my feet and began backing toward the rear of the plane which only served to grab the attention of the military dwarf who was now staring in my direction.
“Phylo Pasteur?” she screamed the question over the roaring plane around us.
“I…” it had just occurred to me that I didn’t know who I was. “I don’t know?” I said with the horrific realization filling my eyes.
This made her smile reasuringly, “Their drugs must not have fully worn off yet, you can call me Raccoon.”
The name seemed familiar but if I couldn’t remember who I was I wasn’t expecting much help from my still aching brain. “What’s going on? Why did you hurt these people? Why are we in a plane? Why is it on fire?!?” I panicked.
“Relax I’ll explain everything,” she said as she locked the plane’s steering. “Now,” she said placing her hands on my arms and moving me to the back of the plane, “I need you to stand here for a second.” she then pulled back a sleeve and mouthed numbers as she watched the time tick on her timepiece.
“What is going on…” I asked but was cut off by her raised hand while she counted.
She then looked me in the eyes and spread her arms wide, “I think you need a hug.” I stared in confusion as she smiled. “Come on! Bring it in!” she said motioning with her outstretched arms. I slowly returned the hug, “There, now isn’t that better?” she asked.
“A bit I guess.” I said still confused.
“Okay now hold on!” She said and I heard a click behind me.
“What was that…?” again I was cut off as we were sucked out of the plane as she popped the back door. I sceamed as the world spun but hung on tight to Raccoon as we fell.
Then with a yank we were stopped and began floating, hanging from the underside of a large black parachute. She smiled at me, while I was still hugging her, “See, sometimes a simple hug can save your life.” I frowned at the smartass comment but I was grateful for the strange hug.
Ever talk to someone and have no idea what they’re saying because they have wholey abandoned the use of c the English language?
Well hopefully this guide can help you as it did me!
What’s your favorite slang word?
Have you ever wondered what the largest book book ever printed was?
So, it’s Thursday again, and I’m curious to know,
Who is your favourite author that no one seems to have heard of?
For me I’m a big fan of Jasper Fforde, Drew Hayes, and Jonathan L. Howard.
Tell me who you like in the comments!
I breathed heavily after narrowly escaping a ravenous howling beast. This was pathetic, I had once brought doom and dismay to all those who dared challenge me. Yet here I was now sitting by a gargantuan tree, hiding from my relentless pursuers. I was small and powerless in this new world and was quickly beginning to fear dying from hunger. Then the snow and ice came, what kind of frozen hell was this? I would have to climb one of the giant trees and huddle in the branches safe from the beasts below in order to make it through the nights.
After a few days of this I had taken to eating bark, needles, and a few giant grains I found but was still starving. I was quickly being forced to understand the perspective I had thrust onto so many unsuspecting peasants. I now was living that horrid existence in this new world and I had to admit it was very humbling. I mean it’s easy to forget how fragile life is when you can wipe out an entire city with the wave of your hand, or survive being engulfed by pure plasma in an explosion from your sheer hardiness alone. A trait I’m sad to say has been stripped from me.
As if the snow wasn’t bad enough the weather soon dropped to well below freezing and the ground turned solid. Everyday I head out in search of food which became both easier and harder. Easier because the beasts that chased me on a daily basis had gone into hiding and harder because I could only search for food for a tenth of the time I could before due to the weather.
Finally, on my third week in this strange punishment I was greeted with a pile of walnuts. They were set in the lower branches of one of the giant trees, and each one was about the size of my head. I watched them intently for a few hours as my stomach growled. Then, rallying my courage I grabbed one of them and quickly scurried back out of sight. I cracked the shell and devoured the giant innards of the nut and fell into a blissful sleep. I returned to find that the other nuts were still there and made the decision to gather them up for later and would check back every now and then to find the pile refreshed.
After I few months my torment was lifted and I was returned to my own world, but I never forgot the lessons learned in that strange land. I never met the creature that had saved me during that hellish time with the pile of giant walnuts. However, I do remember the strange incomprehensible words that I heard muttered before my return home, “Damn that’s a weird looking squirrel!”