The tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu
In case being a writer doesn’t work out it’s always nice to have a plan B, and approved by Stan Lee no less!
Reposting an old story I wrote for my mom as a mother’s day gift. She’s put up with a lot of my insanity while I was growing up so I figured I might as well use it to say thank you.
Hope all. The mothers out their have a great day!
Love you mom
I was born! A little squirming pink thing that enjoyed soiling myself to the dismay of others. I was carried home by my parents and met a slightly larger pink thing that I’m told was my brother. “It’s funny looking!” my brother exclaimed, followed by a scolding from our parents and so began my life. Of course, I remember none of this. My brain was still busy learning things like how to process light and breath this funny thing called air.
It was a weird and frightening start. Everything terrified me, I would wake up and realize that I was alone and that I couldn’t see any light like when I my family was there. It scared the crap out of me, literally, and I would begin to cry. Then, sure enough, one of the others would come and check on me and let me know everything was okay. Sometimes my dad who would sing to me and sometimes my brother who would draw on me, but most of the time it was my mom who seemed to always pop out of nowhere whenever I was in trouble. She always knew how to fix what was bothering me, from being out of water and fearing dehydration to those monsters that kept trying to break in through the window that she would whisk out of sight with a mighty popping sound. I liked the popping sound, it made those first days alive a lot more bearable and a lot less scary.
I was beginning to get the hang of life, and things didn’t bother me as much as they did when I was born. We were all happy but life seemed to be hard on mom; because dad kept running around and mom started swelling. I didn’t mind though because all the drama meant my brother was playing with me more than usual. Probably because mom and dad were busy a lot, dad would yell at people sometimes sending cars flying with his voice. He said he was keeping everyone to date because mom was something called pregnant. I didn’t know what a baby was but my brother tried to enlighten me, “She sick!” my brother told me informatively, “just like when you were born.” I didn’t understand what he meant but it was nice that he took the time to teach me.
Then one day, mom disappeared and dad went after her in a loud white and red box. It was almost as loud as he was but didn’t sing as nicely. A few days later they came home with something in a blanket, it was really funny looking and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Mom and dad seemed okay with it though and told my big brother and me that it was our little sister. It was stull funny looking to me.
My siblings and I were home from school and doing homework at the table while the radio played in the background. “Mom, can I have some juice?” my little sister asked.
“Sure sweetie, just give me one sec.” Mom replied as she popped about doing chores and helping us with our homework. Then something caught her attention and she turned up the radio. She listened intently as my dad spoke over the radio.
‘There is a disturbance downtown, police are struggling to keep damage to a minimum of as a criminal of unknown abilities is holding a group of guards hostages inside the bank vault…’
My mom turned to us and said with a smile, “I think we have more juice downstairs.” Then to my older brother, “Watch your sibling for a sec okay?”. My brother grunted an acknowledgement, his attitude a side effect of being twelve.
My siblings and I all listened intently as the radio continued its news broadcast, ‘We’re waiting patiently to see if any heroes… Wait… reports are flooding in that superhero Prism has just arrived on the scene. She seems to be conversing with the unknown criminal and, OH! It just launched a bolt of energy from its mouth in her direction. Prism has vanished… no wait she’s above him! Is that a porta-potty? The villain has opened his mouth to fire again, Oh wow! She teleported the toilet around his head! We can hear gagging from the inside of his new helmet, he’s thrashing about and… no wait? He’s down! The criminal is down, passing out from the fumes! The crowd is cheering as Prism has once again saved the day and is now… she’s now paying a local grocery clerk in the crowd?”
Mom came back upstairs with a carton of juice and poured my sister a glass, “Sorry sweetie, it was harder to find than I thought.”
My brother rolled his eyes and muttered something like, ‘I can’t believe you used a porta-potty’ my mom shot him a warning glance to the confusion of my sister and me.
I had just failed my drivers test, not that I had put in a whole lot of effort. I tightened the laces on my running shoes and sped off at Mach three. I had powers and it was awesome. Unfortunately, I was the last one of my sibling to awaken their powers. My brother was twenty-one now and was the sidekick of a local hero of some repute; after briefly engaging in near villain like behaviour during his teens as a form of rebellion. During that time, my dad and him had battled it out a few times resulting in a lot of collateral damage from my dad’s super scream. Trust me, you did not want to be on the receiving end of one of his lectures, they tended to level whatever building you were in while it was happening. As for my sister, she found out she shared the same power as my brother at the age of thirteen, flight. Both of them could fly at Mach twelve and lift about five hundred pounds with them as they flew.
Me, I ran. It’s not an impressive power really, but it got me from point A to point B and allowed me to get a lot of things done incredibly fast. I also wasn’t a bad inventor and made quite a few gadgets for both myself and my family. On the upside, I was faster than both my sibling, except for the fact that I was stuck on the ground.
It was the summer and I headed to a lake we used to go to every year when I was a kid. I sat on a picnic table listening to classic rock on a local radio station. The music cut out as the host came on with a news bulletin, ‘We’ve just had a report that a high-speed chase is in progress at… sorry, was in progress on highway two. It ended just now when superhero Prism teleported the entire car into the RCMP’s parking lot where they were quickly apprehended. It’s rare to see her this far away from her normal jurisdiction but as always we greatly appreciate her assistance and hope she…’ *click* I shut off the radio and took my headphones out, just as my mom came up behind me and had a seat at the picnic table.
“So, failed the driver’s test I take it?” she asked knowing the answer already.
“Yeah but it doesn’t really matter, I can try again and it’s not like I can’t get to wherever I want by running.” I said in the overly confident tone of a teenager trying to avoid a lecture.
My mom just smiled, “I know you’ll get it eventually, but why did you run all the way to this lake?”
I shrugged, “The local radio station has good music.”
“Nice try, what’s bothering you?” she interrogated.
“It’s nothing just wanted time to think, okay.” I said a little more harshly than intended because I was a teenager and that’s what we do.
My mom stood up from and turned to look at me shrugging, “Alright fine, but be home for supper and remember that there is a one hour time difference compared to home.”
“I know mom, I’m not a little kid I know how to tell time. I’m pretty sure you were the one who taught me.” I countered sarcastically.
She smirked slightly but conceded defeat as she leaned in to give me an embarrassing kiss on the forehead. I suspected this was what moms considered revenge, “Okay fine, I love you see you at home.”
“Love you too mom.” I said reflexively as I put my headphones back on to listen to music. It was something everyone in my family shared. We all may have had different powers and abilities, different talents but we all loved music. My brother and sister even knew how to play various instruments and always kept up on the latest music. My dad was in was a radio host and he dealt with music more than any of us, though I suspected it was more work now than enjoyment.
I just liked listening to it, enjoying the same music my mom used to play for us on the trips to this very lake. For me no matter what I was doing rock and roll would always be the music that made good things happen.
I had just been kicked out of university for one-too-many experiments that, as the faculty put it, ‘Endangered the lives of students and was unbecoming of a future hero’. I was distraught because none of that had been my intention as some of my instructors had argued on my behalf. Unfortunately, since I was at a prestigious university, their decision pretty much stripped away any alternative opportunities I may have had.
For the first time in my life I turned towards villainy. I was tempted to enact revenge on those who had stripped away my dreams of success. My brother had taken over for his mentor as the hero Jet, and was a prominent figure in his own neighborhood. He also had a daughter now, my niece; and although she had no powers yet her mischievous poops could be described as villainous toxic attacks that brought my hero-of-a-brother gagging to his knees. My sister was still at the same institution that had shunned me studying the languages of other dimensions in hopes of traveling the multiverse.
It was a dark time for me, especially since my parents had separated. My mom moved to be closer to my siblings and me after a lot of arguing between her and my dad. It was my mom’s insistent intervention that eventually stopped me from destroying a few small cities in what would have been my malevolent debut.
My mom was still seen as one of the greats among other heroes but she let a lot of the younger heroes like me and my sibling deal with day-to-day crime that seemed to surge from a never-ending source of hatred in society today. I was now one of the go to heroes in my jurisdiction and often acted as perfunctory leader in most planning and diplomacy. My brother was now married and had a second daughter and he was constantly on the go in his new position as head of field missions. My sister had finally travelled to one of those strange dimensions that shared trade agreements with our own and had a bizarre language my siblings and I had all learned as children to be bilingual.
My mom still teleported to see them whenever they needed, but didn’t get involved in a lot of unnecessary hero-ing anymore. I did most of that now, showing those incompetent faculty members at my old university that their approval was unneeded. Instead, like a lot of things in mine and my siblings lives all we needed was our mom’s support to be great!
I left a vase of flowers on the table for my mom as I raced off to investigate a blaring security alarm in a nearby city that my wrist device alerted me to. As I left I saw the blue and red streaks of my siblings fly overhead, and in a green flash I was off to catch up.
The card next to the vase of white, orange and pink tulips read, ‘Happy Mother’s Day; Love, your superbrats.’
Happy Mother’s Day!
Fun diagram from language base camp
I wonder what my tongue does having spoken French throughout school?
Credit to writer’s write
Jules stood at the door, just like everyone else in her class and the classes before her had. It was an ominous door and only four percent of people on the planet could even open it. She sighed, it was such a waste of time, the door was supposed to contain immeasurable knowledge on any topic you could think of and would even grant a wish if rumours were true. Of course, there wasn’t a single documented case of the door granting a wish, just providing basic information to that four percent of people who could even open the stupid thing. But for the last fifty years it had been part of the entrance exam to almost any university, and the main reason most students didn’t attempt it until their twenties. Despite the amazing potential of reward, there was also a twenty percent chance of being killed by the door as it obliterated you if it didn’t like your answers. She supposed it was to be expected from a mystical all-seeing door that read your minds and granted wishes, because that all made perfect scientific sense, right?
Jules just stared at the stupid thing, the instructor who had given them the introduction to the university had also painstakingly explained the process of the door. Apparently, you were supposed to reach out and turn the knob only when you had a vivid idea of what you wanted from the door. A wish, information, or even nothing at all, the latter being the recommended option for most students as it meant the door wouldn’t open, but at least you would probably live to see tomorrow.
But what should she think about? Jules had never been good at the whole blank mind thing, she figured that was mostly for people who had this overwhelming desire to be a part of society. The same society that put their trust into mystical things like gods, spirits, mystical doors, and brown drug filled liquid that tastes like manure aka coffee. She began to feel her face burn as she glared at the stupid doorknob and then finally she reached out; thinking, “I wonder what’s behind this thing anyway?” and yanked it open.
Jules stood staring at the black void in front of her, a few meters ahead there was a sign that read ‘Ask for knowledge or step forward for more’. She poked her head through the door and looked around, other than the ominously lit sign everything was black. She got a little freaked out and went to shut the door when she saw the other fingerprints inside the door in the dusty surface, then the fire inside her sparked again as she realized everyone else must have done one of the two options on the sign. It was like a cosmic yes or no question with no other options. She hated that, and as her anger grew she tried to think of what she could do to make the stupid sign eat those choices. She took a few steps back while thinking, and before she could begin questioning the wisdom of trying to pick a fight with a sign she took a running leap into the door, sailing past the sign and landing on a path that glittered from unseen star light.
“What the fuck?” she muttered as she looked back in stunned amazement, she saw that she was about two feet away from a sloping black metal slide that lead to some kind of inferno that seemed kilometers away. And looking around the room again she saw the path lead to a staircase that lead down another set of stairs with a small barely legible sign that said library and wishes this way.
She glanced back at the stupid sign to gloat at beating its dual choice problem like a pro. However, she was disappointingly greeted with the two must condescending words she’s ever read. ‘Nice Jump!’
Hello imaginary friends
So I’ve been slacking this past week and haven’t posted my normal plethora of useless but entertaining posts. This is primarily due to the effects of exhaustion from working too much… Go figure. Anway there are plenty of excuses for not posting including, exhaution, memory problems, panic attacks, memory problems, migraines, memory problems, etc. Luckily, I have a full spectrum of fun posts scheduled for this week so I hope you enjoy them.
Now as for the mad scientist aspect I’ve also been using this week to run experiments on myself for a new diet I’m trying (and I’m not a normal dieter as I view it as tedious). Basically I want to have better control over my body and that starts with testing the individual processes involved in maintaining the stupid thing. Ideally I want to see if I can help improve my overall physique (lose some weight and increase muscles, I’m over 6 feet tall and almost 2 feet shoulder to shoulder so I’ll never be small ). But much more importantly I’m trying to see if a controlled diet has an impact on how well my brain functions.
Anywho that’s basically my nonsense for this week
I wish you all the best and have a great week
J. S. Figment
P.S. – Before beginning writting I was a scientist who spent his life aspiring to understand the mysteries of the universe before my progress towards my astrophysics degree were stripped from me for political reason with my university (I embarrased some professors, repeatedly, and accidently) Hence I became a mad scientist continuing my studies independantly and without the confines of standard education.
“Crap.” muttered the glowing girl, looking around at the alley she had just woken up in. “This is bad.” she looked at the tall buildings and breathed in the foul odour of exhaust, sweat, and artificial scents. She pulled herself to her feet, “Seriously? It was one prank, I don’t feel this is justified!” she screeched at the sky which was a dull and indifferent grey as it glared back at her in a condescending tone.
She sighed, “Who cares if I scared them, they’re just humans.” The sky seemed to darken slightly in response. “Fine! But how long do I have to stay here?” the sky shifted slight as a ray of sunshine broke through. She scowled at the sky, “Very cute!” she spat in response, “I’ll be off this rock in no time, just you wait and…”
She was cut off by a woman screaming at the end of the alley, “AHHHHH, PERVERT ANGEL!”
‘Great’ she thought, ‘just what I needed, christians’. It’s not that she had anything against christians per say, they just always overreacted at the drop of a hat about the smallest things. Of course, being a pack animal, it didn’t remain just one psychotic ape screaming at her, soon the end of the alley was packed with monkeys in various cloth coverings all staring; partially at her naked butt, but mostly they looked at her large grey wings that protruded from her back.
They murmured various comments between each other and she could practically feel the grime coming off them. Her violet eyes glared at them, making sure to portray just enough of a predator to keep their tiny monkey brains just unsure enough not to step into the alley way. She knew it wouldn’t work forever and finally an overweight pale police officer barged through the crowd, “What’s the problem… Holy crap!” he said as he saw her. Then, after a few moments of ogling he remembered his job and began spouting some nonsense about indecent exposure and other human garbage she didn’t understand. He uncliped a pair of hand cuffs from his belt and explained, “Not sure if you understand me but I’m just going to put these on you and take you to a place where people can help you.”
Before he could however a voice came from the other end of the alley as footsteps approached, “Sorry I’m late Freyda, I got held up by traffic I hope you’re ready for the shoot…” he trailed off glancing up from the equipement around his neck for the first time. “Who are all you lot?” he asked suspiciously behind the mask of dark makeup he wore.
“Do you know this lady sir?” asked the officer, gesturing at her with the handcuffs.
“I certainly do!” the man said disdainfully, “I’m a bit surprised you don’t, especially given the paperwork we had to fill out to take this shoot.”
“Paperwork?” The officer said incredulously.
“Ugh!” sighed the man, and handed over a thick pack of paper with a business card attached. “Yes, paperwork, photoshoot, you barricade, as per section of 17a subsection C9 in the agreement the city wrote up. Where is the barricade by the way?”
“I, umm, well, I didn’t know about any of this…” stammered the cop.
“Well if you could clear these people out so I can be out of this dank alley as soon as possible that would be lovely, okay?” the strange dark haired man condescended.
“Er, umm….” the officer said as he quickly read the section about barricading the alley and that the police had indeed been assigned to help with that. “I’ll get right on that, sorry, one sec.” He turned and muttered into his radio which came back with a blaze of angry comments about checking your assignments before heading out and not relying on routine. “Yesss, ssir , right away, sorry, won’t happen again” the officer stammered and began shouting at the crowd to clear them away.
The dark haired man turned to face her now and handed her a card, ‘It read Devlin Sata, Heaven and Hell Photography’
“Right, I’m here to keep an eye on you let’s get started. But first!” he hoisted his camera and took several pictures, focusing mostly on her face and from different angles.
Than a printer on his belt spat out a plastic card, which he shook and handed to her. His eyes flashing a dark red colour as he grinned “Welcome to Earth miss Angel, I’m your case worker Devlin.”
With that sentence alone all the delusions she had been hoping for were washed away with the cold truth of reality. “Earth” she sighed, “why did it have to be Earth.”
The English word antidisestablishmentarianism(
listen)) is notable for its unusual length of 28 letters and 12 syllables, and is one of the longest words in the English language. It has been cited as the longest word in the English language (excluding coined and technical terms). The longest word found in a major dictionary is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but this is a technical term that was coined specifically to be the longest word.